A bunch of Feds showed up on the doorstep of the Gonads Inland Oyster company this morning with about a hundred U.S. Marshals and such. They come to town with intentions to shut down Inland Oyster flat, no questions asked. “What the hell for?” We asked, and the head Fed just said “That’s between us and the Inland Oyster people, why don’t you just go on about your business.”

“This is my business,” I said back to the guy. “I’m a freakin’ reporter here, and this is news, dang it! You better just tell me what’s goin’ on.”

After thinkin’ about it for a spell, the head Fed said, “What the hell, you’re going to hear soon enough. The FDA is after Inland Oyster for some inspection problems. They tried to handle it themselves, but the last guy they sent out had a shotgun shoved up his ass.” He looked me up and down, takin’ special notice of my Moleskine real-reporter notebook, then said. “Guess that’s all I can tell you for now.”

Ida stayed to get more of the story, but it was gettin’ on toward suppertime.  Here you go. I’ll work on this story a piece tomorrow.

Welcome to the very first issue of the Gonads Holler online! Since it doesn’t take no ink or paper, we might just come out with this one more’n once a week.

Dig on in, we got some great stories comin’